After seeing the arguments here I must say I have heard nothing but good things about Gus' pub and the service there. Although this may seem like a generalization, I personally believe that anyone identifying themselves as transgender should be desensitized to certain non-derogatory terms as it is confusing and they need to learn what is sexist and what is not. You can't go around claiming that anyone who mistakes your gender identification is sexist.

I have been a bartender and waitress in the past, I have also been a loyal customer to many bars and pubs I hear the term "sweetheart" or "sweetie" thrown around a ridiculous amount. I have called patrons that, both male and female; I have heard other bartenders say it to customers; I have even been called so myself.

As a female I have no problem being called sweetheart, I would rather something like that rather than "hey you". It adds charm and character and makes me feel welcome. I would feel much less welcome and less inclined to be in establishment that generalizes me and just a paying character rather than welcoming me as a patron and a friend.

Personally, I believe that anyone who is convinced by the original article and believes that Dimo is "sexist" or some kind of chauvanistic monster, does not belong there anyway, and they are more than welcome to take their extremely pretentious opinions somewhere else.

Mind you, I have friends in the LGBT community who I love very much, and courtesy is a two way street, but some people need to understand that our minds are geared to biological gender, so if you look female, you will be more than likely referred to as a female, and if you look male, you will more than likely be referred to as a male. The best way to fix this could be politely correcting whoever mistook your gender identity, instead of trying to slander a long-time run family business such as Gus'.

As for you Dimo,

My boyfriend and I will be seeing you for a drink very soon.

Best of luck.

OK, I hope this isn't entirely disjointed, because I feel like there's a whole lot to respond to here.

1. The hell is y'alls problem? When someone is clearly hurt in an incident that has nothing to do with you, do you always jump in to defend the person who hurt them? When you see someone crying on the street do you walk up and say, "The fuck is your problem, buddy? Tough up!" One would hope not, but I guess that's the magic of the internet, right?

2. There is an english pronoun which one can use in place of he or she: they. The argument that it doesn't "work" in singular contexts is utter bullshit, e.g., "Someone broke into my house. They stole my toaster oven." If you don't know somebody's gender (and, unless you've asked, there's a decent chance you don't), using "they" is generally good practice.

3. Trans* people are subject to constant "microagressions" - people not using correct pronouns, challenging the validity of their identity ("Well, you look like a [gender]"), being told they're thin-skinned, etc. Many of these are "invisible" or "common sense" in the context of our cis-sexist world, as indicated by the hella insensitive posts on this thread. The fact is, y'all need to educate yourselves. Probably there are resources at South House (http://southhousehalifax.ca/) if you actually want learn about how to be a decent human to Trans* people in your life.

4. Dimo's initial post includes a whole bunch of the aforementioned transphobic microagressions, mentions feeling entitled to physically touch people, and generally describes being a creepy middle-aged handsy man from the perspective of a creepy middle-aged handsy man. But, really, we're talking about Dimo, whose disrespectful (put mildly) behaviour has been a constant for so many years that it's a running joke in some circles.

Dimohfx, I think you may find a metaphor illuminating.

If you say that you don't have a problem with "people with different sexual constructs" (despite the several microaggressions in that clause), you might consider yourself an ally. You basically believe that people should be equal and you don't want to offend anyone. Good. OK. The thing is, you did offend someone -- clearly, or the original post would not have been written.

Andrew David Thaler has a great blog post where he compares being an ally and being called out on your privilege -- or not wanting to offend someone but unintentionally offending them (if you are particularly averse to the term "privilege" then just replace it with "offense" in your mind) -- to being caught with your fly down. He says it much better than I could:

"Allow me to explain. Leaving your fly down is embarrassing for you, but, more importantly, it makes those around you uncomfortable... The longer you leave you fly open, the more upset people will be. And, most importantly, unless you actively check your fly, the only way you know it’s down is if somebody tells you.

Nobody wants to wander around with their fly open and you shouldn’t want to blunder through life with your privilege unchecked. But people aren’t perfect, and you will make mistakes. So how do you respond to being caught with you fly down or called out on your privilege?

Fix the problem. Your fly is down. Zip it up. Don’t make excuses. Don’t go on a long tangent about how you just came out of the restroom and it must have slipped your mind and the zipper on these pants is just not very good. Don’t defensively demand to know why they were looking at your fly to begin with. Don’t ignore this step and move on to the next. Zip up your fly.

Thank them. When someone tells you that your fly is down; when someone calls you out on your privilege, they are doing you a kindness. No one wants the embarrassment of walking around all day with their fly open. No one should want the embarrassment of wandering through life alienating their friends and colleagues through unexamined privilege. Calling this stuff out is hard. It is emotionally draining and it is a constant uphill battle for those of less privilege. A simple thank you is the very least you can do.

Move forward. Now that the immediate offense has been addressed, you need to step back and examine why you left your fly down and what you need to do to repair any relationships that you’ve damaged. Maybe it was fairly minor and all that’s needed is a simple apology. Maybe it was a horrific error and you’ve exposed yourself to a large group, who are now mortified and uncomfortable around you. Maybe there are people who now want nothing to do with you. You need to put the effort into understanding why your actions were so hurtful and what you can do to, if nothing else, avoid repeating the same problematic behavior."

Now, please zip up your Goddamn fly.

Keep fighting the good fight.  A friendly suggestion: don't apologize to the offendees in this post/thread.  This is a great read about why:

http://alfredmacdonald.com/2012/07/18/pr-disaster/

"An apology does the following things:

• It cedes authority to the person asking for the apology.
• It admits you were wrong.

Here is something it does not do:

• It does not make you look better, even if you already look bad to begin with."